Clear (Storm's Soldiers MC Book 3) Read online

  I couldn’t feel any hate or even irritation seeing him standing in line. I simply felt nothing. Maybe it was for the best.

  He looked up, suddenly curious. He scanned the crowd one way, then the other way, searching.

  And then, his eyes were on me. His brow cleared and we were just facing each other, as we had done so many times before.

  His glare cleared up, his eyes crinkled and he turned away. I didn’t.

  He wanted to hide, but that wasn’t how this worked.

  Today, I could see everything.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Vaughn

  I’d spent half the night worrying about her gaze meeting mine here. I had imagined her eyes bubble with grief. Or maybe burn with anger. I’d even pictured her just turning and walking off into the crowd - the last glance I ever got of her.

  I hadn’t imagined this.

  Her eyes lay fixed on me, unmoving. It was a constant force, weighing down like gravity. She hadn’t come for the rally, she had come for me. She was here to see me act, like I were an animal at the zoo.

  I sure felt caged. At least a tiger could prowl and deliberate. I could only stand and sweat.

  The speakers droned on above me. Pop had turned it over to a woman, someone to soften the image of his group. She was too soft though. No one could hear. The silent line of Soldiers held more power than her speech.

  I forced myself to look back up, somewhere far away from Meagan. Rally days had always been long and boring, but I’d found fury in the crowd to fuel myself through them. Most people showed up to these things to get them shut down. I might not want to speak, but I damn well was going to make sure Pop said what he wanted to say. Good men had fought and died for that right.

  The brown and dark faces out in the crowds had been alien back then. I’d seen the fury and the animal looks on them and been convinced it was at being called to task by folk like my family.

  Now each of those faces held a story. Some were weathered and slack-jawed, others were clean-shaved and smooth, cracked only by confusion. Some looked like they’d been beaten to shit as kids. Others, like they’d never gone hungry in their lives. Some looked like lazy pieces of shit while others dressed like class presidents. I flicked from face to face, but possibilities kept pouring out, drowning my intentions. I could find no kindling for rage.

  Of course these people were pissed. We come out here to tell em to fuck off? Well, they were bound to echo those same words back. Strange thing was, now that I couldn’t latch onto the really outraged people, I could see that most were just amused. The white folk who were watching, especially so. This might as well be a fucking play.

  I could still sense Meagan looking, but she couldn’t read my mind and see how much was happening in here. I thought about mouthing a few words, but Asher was right next to me, growling at people under his breath. Any twitch of motion and he’d notice.

  Besides, what was there to say?

  Wish I wasn’t here?

  I was here. And so was she.

  I kept scanning far away from her, but I couldn’t hold anyone’s looks. I didn’t know them and I still couldn’t face them. What the hell was I ever going to say to Meagan, even after this was over?

  Suddenly I found myself staring at another face I knew: Meagan’s ex.

  My insides twisted and ignited like an oil rag. The prick was dressed up like a doctor. He must like how people looked at him in that outfit. It was almost as good as grabbing someone’s hand and keeping them facing you - just another type of manipulation.

  I glanced at Meagan and back. She was a good deal away, plus Darryl was there. Her ex couldn’t make a move, must be why his attention was on the podium. Maybe he didn’t even know she was here. It might have nothing to do with hurting her.

  Which was, upon reflection, more than could be said for me. I knew damn well the effect my presence had on my girl.

  A small chitter of applause rippled through the crowd. It came mostly from the stage but there was a small pool of pale white people in the grass behind me. The drizzle got overrun by a wave of boos. It settled and Pop’s familiar throat-clearing ran through the speakers.

  “Now, I’m proud to welcome a very special speaker. A piece of my own family. My son, Calix Black.”

  Another rolling wave of cheers and swears. My brother’s speeches usually captured the brimstone and hellfire I’d gotten used to tuning out. Now, I listened.

  “I am a Storm’s Soldier,” his voice boomed out. It was the loudest by far and even the audience hushed. “You have heard visions painted out before you of a world filled with purity. My father and his community have spoken of the high ideals that will be the foundation for this new white nation. But you should know that we are not all quiet thinkers and planners. I am a soldier. Every one of my brothers, suited up and standing before you is a soldier. Each is willing to fight to preserve our cause. Each of us is willing to die for it.”

  Die for this cause? I wasn’t. None of us were. The Soldiers stood here, arms cross, growling, but this crowd might snuff us out like a wave crashing over sand if it weren’t for the thin line of blue. That’s what people respected, justice and peace, not might and purity.

  “I would die for my world,” Calix repeated. “Do you feel as certain about this aberrant society you inhabit?”

  My stomach twisted. Suddenly I wasn’t feeling certain about anything. This society had problems. Old white societies had had problems too. Who here could say a new white one wouldn’t? Besides, it wasn’t like I’d much dreamed of one. I’d been along for the ride, but now I could barely handle that.

  A white society wouldn’t have the one thing in this world I truly desired.

  “I know what I want,” Calix’s voice boomed. “I am here to try and make you see what I see.”

  The words startled me. I looked back at my brother. His eyes weren’t even on the crowd. They were lidded, lost in some unseen world full of sunshine and clouds.

  It was a fucking fantasy, and a cheap one at that. But it was Calix’s fantasy all the same. It was what he wanted.

  What I wanted? I didn’t have to close my eyes to see that world, I just needed the courage to lift my gaze.

  I turned and looked at Meagan.

  Her face lay emblazoned with calm, patience and virtue. I’d never seen it so plainly before, but it must have been there all along to suffer the love of a fool such as me. Her mouth fell open ever so slightly. Maybe it wasn’t an invitation, but I could see nothing else painted on those lips.

  The twists left my mind. There was only one thing to do.

  I slipped up towards the thin metal gates barring us from the police.

  “Hey,” Asher snapped. “What are you doing? Forget to piss before you showed up?”

  “I ain’t going to the bathroom,” I said, pulling apart a gap between gates. “I’m going to clean up.”

  “The fuck does that mean?”

  I ignored him and tapped the back of one of the officers. He was about as tall and ruddy as any of the Soldiers, just with a different uniform.

  “What?” he said, pissed at just the sight of me.

  “I need to get through.”

  “Get through? We’re here to protect your rights. Those people will chew you up.”

  I glanced through his shoulders and saw soft faces staring back, brows creased at the sight of me. Yeah, I was in real danger here.

  “I got a thing to do. It’s fine, don’t worry about me.” I tried to nudge through but he didn’t move.

  The guy spat in the dirt. “I ain’t worried about you. I’m worried one of these people getting hurt on account of you.”

  Too late to stop that, buddy. “They won’t. I’m trying to set things right.”

  The cop turned full round. Calix ground on in speakers overhead. Nothing had changed yet. The line hadn’t been broken.

  “Arms up,” the cop said.

  I flapped them off me like a bird and he patted me from ankle to chest. He ste
pped aside.

  “Alright, go. I’ll be watching you like a fucking hawk.”

  I nodded, step over an unseen line onto the same grass field. The crowd shrank back against me. Whatever words Calix was saying, all they saw in me was a figurine of hate. I looked down at my black vest and couldn’t exactly blame them.

  Meagan’s mouth lay fully open now. I began politely working my way through the crowd to her. Most parted, their faces joining the direction of my advance as I passed. An old black man in full Marine regalia remained planted in my path. I tossed him a salute, dipped my head and pushed on past him.

  A channel had opened up before me, but right between me and Meagan stood Darryl. He didn’t look angry yet, but he had a tightness about him like a coiled spring. It must be the last clear image his opponents got in the ring before he crashed into them.

  I walked up, and Meagan stepped out from around him. She gave him a smile, patted his chest, then covered the last few steps to me.

  “Hey,” I said.

  I wasn’t loud but my voice seemed to carry. The speakers had gone silent.

  “Hey yourself,” she said, arms clasped before her. She looked curious, worried, happy and dainty. All the things I had seen in that face had collapsed into one all encompassing look.

  “So,” I said. “I’m thinking of doing something stupid.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Well, actually I’m starting to see it may not be that stupid after all. But I’ll still need a little help.”

  “I got you,” Meagan said.

  Her hands were starting to squirm that way they did when she got excited about an idea.

  “We got you,” Darryl said. I snapped to him, and caught a sharp nod. “If you’re about to fuck up that life of yours as much as I think you are, I’ll help you get a new one.”

  Well, shit. That caught me off guard. I pretended to stare off into the sun, blinked myself dry then peered back down at Meagan. Her mouth shut, then lifted in that tease of a smile I’d seen that first night at that darkened booth. That pleasantness of hers that covered up a whole lot more going on inside.

  I took her in one more time, top to bottom, then nodded.

  “Alright,” I said. “You are worth this.”

  Then she said one of the funniest things I’d ever heard. “I am. I’ll try to be worth it.”

  I chuckled. “Darling, that wasn’t a question.”

  I thrust open my jacket, held my hands out and let it slide back onto the grass.

  “Vaughn,” the speakers growled. It sound like barely concealed rage - an animal challenge that demanded an answer.

  Well, I wasn’t an animal. Not anymore.

  I clasped Meagan’s face and pulled her in to a kiss. Her lips jostled gently against mine, soft but unyielding, smiling but full of barely concealed energy. Her hands wrapped around my body best as they could. I just about crushed her into me after that. I picked my dark little flower off the ground and kissed her up into the sky.

  Noise had erupted around us. Applause and cries of “All right!” and “You get her, boy.” It was a surprise I even heard any of it, with my focus on my girl.

  Finally, I set her back on earth. She swayed in my grip.

  The speakers boomed with rage, but the crowd shielded us with their joy.

  “What say we get out of here?” I asked.

  “Let’s,” she said. She glanced back at Darryl. I realized one of her white friends was there too.

  “Yeah you should probably go,” Darryl said.

  “I’ll take care of your brother,” the girl chirped happily.

  Meagan laughed. I began pushing us through the crowd toward the bikes. People that had been scared before were now too happy to move. I had to force my way through lines of handshakes like I was the fucking Pope or something.

  Then there was a guy in front of me who wouldn’t move.

  “Hey, what you doing with her?” he said with the faintest of hispanic accents.

  I peered up and saw the spiteful face of Meagan’s ex. He tried to scowl, but he just looked ridiculous. I glanced back at the officer who had let me through and found it still studying me, unmoved.

  This doctor was playing it smart. He probably thought he’d rile me up and get me tossed in jail.

  Not today.

  I smiled and gripped his shoulder. “Oh, we’ll do the usual. Probably fuck a bit.”

  Meagan joined my side. “More than a bit.”

  “Yeah, you know, whatever the lady wants.”

  The guy’s tan face blossomed into a deeper shade of red. I gave him a sharp squeeze and brushed past like he was dirt.

  We ran across an expanse of grass to the bikes. I checked to see if anyone was in pursuit, but the Soldiers were too busy trying to pick up the shambles of their event. I’d deal with the fallout later. Better that than losing what was in my grip.

  There was an officer standing by the row of bikes. I tossed him a thanks and helped Meagan climb on to Viper.

  “Where we going?” she asked.

  “Does it matter?”

  Her hands curved against my stomach and she wobbled her head. I pulled us out of the city, rode out from between the towering buildings of downtown, out onto the highway and headed north towards nowhere.

  The wind burned over me, harsh without my colors. That was the only moment I missed them, but then I remembered Meagan at my back, bearing it all the same.

  I could handle anything to have that girl on me. Now and always.

  The sky was beautiful and cold. We hadn’t spent much time out under this sun, but now we would. This thing between us, it wasn’t just made for the darkness. Night or day, dark or light, I wanted to be by her side.

  Epilogue

  I woke up under Vaughn’s arm, feeling the sweat where his skin touched mine. The days were already growing warm, but this moisture had been hard earned from a few hours ago.

  I nudged him across the cushions. He swore at me sweetly under his breath and turned away.

  “Rise and shine, sweet prince,” I murmured into his ears. “Your princess is starving.”

  Almost on cue, my stomach rumbled. His broad chest twisted back toward me and he blinked at me through sleepy eyes.

  “Five minutes,” he sighed.

  “Uh uh.” I seized his head as he tried to tumble away. “Come on, you’re the one who brought me out into the wilderness.”

  He gazed around the translucent green inside of our dome tent. “This ain’t wilderness, darling. I know I saw a vending machine back by the information booth.”

  “I’m not walking all the way out there. I want a proper camping meal. Come roast me a fish.”

  Vaughn groaned his way to a seat like a falling tree in reverse. Half-lidded crystal eyes studied me. He smiled and pecked my cheeks. “Darlin, my life would be so much easier if you had just been ugly.”

  I nuzzled into his shoulder, watching where my dark nose met the stubble across his white skin. “Finally having those regrets?”

  “I said easier, not better. Not by a long shot.”

  He took me with all his strength and planted a long burning kiss. The flames we needed to be starting should really have been outside, but it was my insides now alight. He picked us up to our feet and left me to smolder.

  “Get dressed,” he said, pulling up his own jeans. “I’ll go get your brother and the fish.”

  He flapped through the tent and I stood alone and nude. My clothes lay at all edges of the cushion where they’d been scattered last night. I hustled into them, then tried to tidy up a bit. There wasn’t much: just the sheets, a couple bottles of water that needed refilling and Vaughn’s shirt.

  Vaughn’s shirt. Sweet Jesus, he was walking through the campground shirtless. There were families not too far away. What would they make of a neo-nazi stalking through the woods? And here of all places, in the middle of a Civil War historical site.

  I poked my head through the flaps. The birds chirped merrily, the same
way they wouldn’t do if people were screaming and calling the cops. I sighed. That boy could be so careless at times, as if changing on the inside erased what your skin said. I’d been trying to make him understand. He would just end up kissing me and repeated his plans to get rid of the worst of the ink once he got his first military paycheck.

  I slipped into my sandals and walked through the grass. Little yellow flowers were blooming in spots and the tree line a bit aways had a healthy dash of green to it. Vaughn was right. There was beauty in the natural order. This was our third time camping in as many months and I was starting to love waking up in the midst of all this nature. It reminded me of how Vaughn and I became more than just our bodies to each other, and each visit brought us closer. Camping was one habit I didn’t mind him keeping from his old life.

  I heard branches crunching and turned to see Vaughn and Darryl pounding through the grass my way. Darryl had apparently decided to join in on the topless fashion trend and wore just dark boxing trunks. The two boys were glaring at each other, their mouths exchanging words like gunfire. Darryl swatted Vaughn’s back and got a stocky punch in his shoulder in turn. Both started laughing.

  I stood by the tent, barely able to hold back the swell of tears at the sight. These two were the most important people in the world to me. It’d meant so much when Darryl stepped up and offered Vaughn part time work at the gym, and even more when Vaughn had thanked him and accepted. He’d been up front with those kids, telling them what he used to be, taking the hits and then earning their respect. I’d never in my wildest dreams imagined them becoming such good friends, but now it seemed pre-destined.

  “Morning Meg,” Darryl said, ruffling my hair as he came up. “Brought you a present.”

  He handed me a chill package of wax paper. I unfurled the gleaming fish and set them down in the grass.

  Vaughn dropped a stack of firewood he’d been carrying, and knelt by it. “I was just telling your brother that if that was the smell he wanted to sleep with, then he might as well have invited company to his cabin.”

  “And I was just telling this dumbass you decided to date that I have a fridge.”